I swear I won’t make this a blog about my cat, but when I came across this website today, I had to record it.

My 16-year-old cat George is afflicted with a somewhat rare condition called megacolon, in which some or all of the large intestine loses its ability to contract. We’ve been managing it with medicine up ‘till now, but he had a pretty severe episode a few days ago which required an expensive vet visit, so I decided I would look up alternative treatments. A little Googling led me to the Celebrity Cat Interviews page of the Feline Health Society.

I’d usually find this stuff pretty stupid. Maybe you will, too, but something about it just made me laugh my ass off. The interviews are conducted by a cat named Charlie, and it’s written in “cat talk,” so “mommy” becomes “meowmie,” “you” becomes “mew,” and the cats greet each other with “Rawr rawr MERAW,” which I guess is the traditional cat salute. It seems like this stuff is really written by a vet, so the medical knowledge is pretty accurate, but the style is just hysterical. Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe I just have this vision in my head of someone off in the hinterlands tapping away at the keyboard with a kitty-ear headband and painted-on whiskers to – you know – get in the mood. Hysterical.

My good friend Arlen sent me a list of “Things you have to believe to be a Republican today.” It’s actually pretty on-target, with stuff like:

• A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
• Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
• Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
• The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
• Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

You can see the full list at AZplace.

Of course, in the interest of fairness, AZplace “also has Things you have to believe to be a Democrat today, but I really didn’t find it all that damn funny.

As usual, Fafblog hits it on the head and makes it beg for more…

Everything is better when it is embossed with a vague smattering of God! Money is more trustworthy! Flags are more jingoistic! Supreme court buildings are more Law of Mosesy! Ceremonial God supersizes life. More importantly Ceremonial God is the American God. How do you know if that dollar or that oath or that national leader is trustworthy and American? It has the God™ seal of approval that is how!

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Best line of the day on Reagan, overheard on the O’Franken Factor (this is not a direct quote, but pretty close)...

Al Franken: Rush Limbaugh once said that this country owes Ronald Reagan a debt we will never be able to repay. For once, I agree with him.

Fantastic!

From Reason’s Hit & Run we get this link to a German virtual museum featuring Donald Duck in art throughout the ages. Click on the “raums” at the bottom of the screen to see all the exhibits.

Die DUCKOMENTA – eine Ausstellung

From the Federal Bureau of Investigation Home Page, the public is invited to hunt for terrorists.

Okay, I could be mistaken, but I think the one on the lower right is Condi Rice.

No, of course not. What really caught my attention was the word “BOLO.” The site informs us that BOLO is “BuSpeak for ‘Be On the Look Out.’” No indication what BuSpeak is, but it can’t be good.

The most excellent Adam Felber hits the highlights of the President’s speech for anyone who might have missed it or had trouble following it. My favorite part:

Part 3: Challenges in Iraq – Sure, some of our guys have died. Are you saying they died in vain!? Are you, punk? – Resistance: Small minority, not representative of Iraqi people. – Prisoner abuse: Small minority, not representative of American people. – Outrage at abuse: Small minority, not representative of Arabs/Europeans/etc. – That old sarin shell: Tip of the iceberg. Representative of vast weapons cache.

Fanatical Apathy: FA Exclusive: President Bush’s Notes for Tonight’s Speech

Please read Horrorblogging at Fafblog! the whole worlds only source for Fafblog

From Gadgetopia, we find a link to Tha Shizzolator. .: Snoop Dogg – Tha Shizzolator :.

Funny, funny, funny. Check it out, dog.

God, this is so dead-on. 8bitDandD (Requires Flash)