Hey, Stumax. Don’t you ever post, buddy? Looks like it’s up to The Hammer once more. You ready for my Super Bowl rant? Let’s rock…

The Super Bowl, with all its hype and circumstance, is so incongruous an event in the football season as to be something altogether different. While I’m sure the kids love it, true football fans, the ones who follow the season faithfully every weekend and appreciate the nuances of the game, must on some level be disappointed with what they see at this beached whale of a marketing event. For 18 weeks during the regular season, we get a war. On Super Bowl weekend, we get a happening.

What with the sappy song that preceded the national anthem and its laughably embarrassing attempt to tug the heartstrings, and the big halftime event that tried to cram in more rock stars than the bus to Coketown, I felt more like I was watching the Grammys interrupted occasionally by a little football than a true sporting event. And all the ceremony hurts the game. The Panthers and Patriots put on a heck of a show eventually, but any coach or player will tell you that the pace of the weekend dictated by the hype hurts the game.

And the game’s the thing, or should be. Janet’s bare nipple notwithstanding, does anyone really tune in to the Super Bowl for the halftime show? Does anyone care about or listen to the pre- or post-game ceremonies? I know we want to see the ads. I want to see for the ads. But even so, wasn’t Jim Nantz the least bit embarrassed that he was doing a commercial for Cadillac when he was supposed to be honoring Tom Brady’s MVP award? Didn’t he hear us laughing at his barenaked pandering?

Sponsors and glory hounds crawl out of the woodwork on Super Bowl Sunday like unwelcome party crashers. Not that I want to make football seem like some lofty and untainted enterprise, but these players work their asses off all season to get to this point, and those of us who appreciate the game come to expect a certain flow. We should get to see a truly great game, free from baubles and bangles. Football is one of those rare sports that actually seems enhanced by the television coverage, except during the Super Bowl, where it feels more like an MTV awards ceremony. (Oh, wait…)

How can the NFL look itself in the mirror when it gets all in an uproar over Janet’s nipple, knowing that it gorged itself on the corporate teat like a starving baby? If the NFL thought it would bring ratings, they’d have had the players out there buck naked.

Get over yourself NFL. Shape up, CBS. Don’t pretend this game is about anything but the Benjamins. And don’t expect me to love you when all you care about is my big bankroll.

The Hammer has spoken!

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Thursday, February 5th, 2004 @ 1:23 pm Rants
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